On Self-Identification

There are several reasons why I moved to Europe. Among them to travel, get a different perspective and of course, to improve my German. As a perk to my job, I get to attend language courses of my choice. So having the evening free (and the day really) I decided I would drop in on a German course (book 3) that my colleague teaches. In my class I had (I'm assuming nationalities now) two Russians, a Polish girl, another American that came later, a girl from, SE Asia and a Turk. All there to improve our German. Turns out my conversation skills are a bit higher than the class but since I'm not enrolling in it full-time, its quite acceptable for me to sit on this class from time to time. Anyway, my German grammar can use a fresher. I hadn't been in a class since April.

I don't know if I'm in that "find myself" period of my life. Should I be? Should I have already "found myself" by now? Sometimes I think I'm stupid for moving to Aachen, sight unseen, to accept a job that pays moderately at best (my saving grace being the poor exchange rate to the dollar). My colleague and all around fantastic guy,Bruce drove me home last night. He moved here in 2006 for his girlfriend. We were talking and told me that I was brave. Brave? Me? I'm the type of person who dashes through dark basements to get to the door and finds the light quickly. I don't swim in dark water either. And here I am being called brave. He told me it takes a lot of guts to do what I did. And I stopped for a moment and thought about it. I guess it does. I moved to a foreign country, didn't know anybody, accepted a job sight unseen, found my own apartment, and did the things that one has problems doing in his/her own country and I did it here. I don't really think about it too much, I just do it. Sure, I ask for help when I need it but mostly I'm living as an independent person in a foreign country and that is a strange thought.

Faye (who moved here with her boyfriend) and I were discussing being a foreign national. Living and working like a German in Germany, but Americans. Not always understanding customs and beliefs or ways of life or, the language. I had to go to H&M to pick up some socks and we couldn't figure out what the German word for "tag" or "label" is. Faye said I should ask and I told her that in general my rule in foreign countries was to blend in as much as possible and asking what a label is called would disqualify me and make me known as a foreigner. And then she told me:

Yes, but then you're not being true to yourself.

And that kind of hit me.She's right. I'm not a German (nor do I really want to be, although an EU Passport wouldn't hurt) I'm an American living in Germany. While I should assimilate as much as possible, I feel as though there eventually comes a limit. My accent will never be 100%, I'll have a slight American twang for the rest of my life I'm sure. I'll never really warm up to grocery shopping in Germany or Sunday's of doing nothing. But I appreciate many things as well. It's a strange feeling to not quite fit in.

I wonder how my self-perception will change over the next few years.

Rain drops are falling on my head

Since I woke up this morning, I've decided today is one of those stay-in-bed/doors days. The weather today has been in a general malaise. Yesterday was nice but today the weather hi is 49 degrees Fahrenheit and its been gray all day. I'm okay with this. It can't be sunny and beautiful all the time or one forgets the beauty of sunny days. So today I'm appreciating it from indoors. I might actually go out for a walk. Its now drizzling/sprinkling outside. However, I've just brewed some good German coffee and am about to sit down to lesson plan for the next week.

I just woke up though from one of those naps that almost paralyzes you. Are you familiar with it? When you nap and you're decently tired, you might be awake but find it impossible to actually move or get out of bed, a feeling of unbelievable sleepiness clouds your mind. Having no reason to really fight it, I lost the battle and slept for an hour I'm sure.

Last night I finally got to go out and experience a bit of Aachen's night scene. Well, nothing ridiculous. A fellow English speaking expatriate from Australia, Meri, an au pair, was also interested in meeting people. So through a website for expats, we met and has some drinks last night. It was quite a bit of fun actually. It was a nice opportunity for me to get out of the house and not spend another Saturday night watching tv.

I spent the entirety of today by myself. No cafes, no colleagues. Just me, the TV, my lesson plan book and several phone calls. The farthest I got to today was my cleaning closet. I'm not sure how I feel about this. I had thought about going out for a walk, even out in the rain, but its too cold and wet to do that. I feel a bit lame for having not moved out of my apartment, but I figure from time to time, its okay to spend your entire day alone. Although this bothers me if it becomes a regular occurrence.

I've decided that the more I teach the English language, the more my language capabilities digress. I am often second guessing myself, misspelling common words (like synopsis) and drawing a blank. Dissecting your own language all day long is tiring on the brain too. I didn't do anything at all today except grade papers, why am I so tired?

Colonization

I just had the stark revelation that I graduated from Florida State six months ago.

That is absolutely insane. I don't feel six months older or wiser. I'm definitely not six months richer. When did this happen? Yesterday I was sitting my classroom and then today BAM six months hits me in the face. It seems so clear still. I remember walking to German class and wishing to myself that graduation would happen "only a month left." While reading articles on Statecraft I would curse the lofty academics who had nothing but time to write things about the way the world operates. Now, I aspire to be like them. I've said it before but I'm pretty sure I want a career that somehow mixes academia and real life applications of foreign affairs into one. Go forth and find it for me.

About eight months ago, a group of us from the German department were waiting for class to begin. And in that way of college seniors were discussing our "plans" (truth is none of us really had plans) for our lives after Florida State. In 90% of the cases it somehow involved moving to Germany. I'm not sure how serious we were at the time, we joked about the "FSU Colony in Germany." A bunch of FSU students now living and working in the Bundesrepublik. And now the majority of us have made it over here. We are a colony and more are soon to follow. My good friend Holly, from the German department has decided that she wants to make the big jump too. Therefore she's decided to move to Aachen (which this absolutely thrills me) and we're going to be roomies. Between the two of us, we'll be able to afford to live in a nice, modern flat conveniently located in the "Innenstadt" or downtown area. It will be great to have a slice of home here, someone that I know from my previously life at a student and someone to do things like cook dinner with. I hate nights in my apartment because I'm a social person and enjoy the company of people that I like. So January she makes the big move and I couldn't be more excited.

Photos!

By popular request, I'm providing a link to my photo album on facebook here.

A picture says a thousand words.....Living Among the Germans

Think about the day

I just finished my Saturday evening dinner. Steak with pasta and a glass of wine. I must say it was rather appetizing. I would have preferred to have cooked it on the grill, but my apartment doesn't come equipped with one sadly. It was good. I only wish I was out and about socializing among Aachen's youth, listening to music, having some cocktails. However I'm house ridden.

You see, it appears as though on Thursday I developed, dare I say, a foot aliment. I believe its a corn. Its actually rather quite embarrassing. When I hear of the word corn, I automatically think of old women in pumps telling someone to rub them. Gross. Nobody will come near my corn. I had to go to the pharmacy yesterday and tell the pharmacist that I had, now get this a "chicken eye" on my foot. The German word for corn is Hühneraugen. Am I the only person who thinks this is a bit silly? Where do they get this from? I got some medicine for it and its beginning to be bearable. Perhaps in the morning it will be down to normal. I've not been quite mobile because of this and haven't done much the past few days because I need to stay off my foot.

In Germany one is required to separate his/her trash into several categories. Plastics (gelbesäcke) including wrappers, saran wrap etc. Paper, regular trash and then bio- müll (food scraps). At first I thought that this was an absolutely ridiculous requirement. Sans recycling I've never separated my food scraps or put saran wrap in a separate container. However, I've noticed now how much these random, recyclable items actually do take up in our trash. The food scraps alone are rather serious. Then the plastic ware, which I suppose is all recycled again is another huge amount. I'm impressed with the Germans. I've only had to take my trash out once since I've been in the house because everything has been divided. Its rather surprising.

Tomorrow will be lesson planning day. I'll shleck my books to a cafe, drink a cappucino or eight and lesson plan for the next week. I'm taking on a new student and a new Intensive Business English class. I'm not sure how I feel about this. Well, I'm not sure how I feel about any of it. I also really have to be more creative with my Dover, basic English class. I'm afraid I'm not the best teacher at that level. Sadly it appears as though I will not be having any Saturday's off in the near future. This upsets me. I'm going to try and get the weekend of November 1st off. The first is a holiday here in Germany and if I could I would like to go to Dresden if I can work it out.

Oooh! Politics!

Today is one of those big days for international relations. I figure that this blog, which was originally created to discuss said issues, is a good place for me to update the world on my views on such important topics. Several things took place today of relevant importance. First, Laura Bush wrote an editorial in the Wall Street Journal which condemned the military Junta in Burma/Myanmar. Taking a role not common of this First Lady, Mrs. Bush delivered a strong condemnation of the regime even going so far as to say "The time for a free Burma is now."

Surprisingly enough, the United States has actually been among the influential powers to vehemently speak out against the regime. Usually, this type of opposition to a government takes months, if not years. I'm actually impressed. The UN as always has continued to drag their feet but along with a few European allies and Japan, the US has done a good job in calling for change.

Closer to my heart, the House Foreign Relations Committee narrowly passed a resolution which would recognise the Armenian Genocide of World War I. While I support the US government recognizing the murder of over a million Ottomans by the "Young Turks" regime, it will strain US-Turkey relations. Potentially making US military missions in Iraq more difficult if Turkey respons to the resolution by not renewing US rights to military bases in Turkey. The US Air Base at Incilirk is one of the most important military strategic points for US/NATO armed forces in the Middle East. During World War I, while the rest of the world was focused on the war in Europe, the abusive "Young Turks" regime (ironically, a bunch of old Turks) committed genocide against approximately 1.5 million Armenians. The Turkish government strongly denies claims that it ever occurred. Western scholars see this as one of the first genocides to actually take place. To understand this you must understand the definition of genocide, the history of the region and much more. As someone who studied state sponsored killing and genocide as a theme at Florida State under Dr. Robert Gellately (foremost expert on the field) I have strong feelings on this. I am glad the West has decided it is now time to acknowledge this, just bad timing. If you want to learn more about the Armenian Genocide check out the Wikipedia article here.

/endpoliticalrant/

Work is busy and I am busy. Other than that, things are going well. I might go to Frankfurt again this weekend. Time will tell.

Fauxnets

I've rather avoided updating my blog for the past few days for reasons that are even unknown to me. Mostly though because I've been terribly busy. I'm a bit peeved honestly. When interviewing for the job, I was told that most employees do not work more than two Saturday's a month.

I've worked three already and am working on the fourth this weekend. Last Saturday I worked for six hours.

This left me with Sunday off. However, my friend who lives in Frankfurt had to have her appendix removed as well (my FSU friends fear I've started a tradition in Germany). So I woke up at the crack up dawn on Sunday, caught a train to Frankfurt and stayed with her for the day then came back. I'm glad I could visit her. I know what its like to sit in a hospital room alone and in pain and in a foreign country. I was on Saturday, however, able to complete a load of laundry like a person who is living in the 21st century, complete with washing and drying the clothes. The experience was less than kosher but I live to tell the story another day.

I've also procured the internets in my home. This of course is what I like to call the "fauxnets." My internet connection is le ghetto. That's french for ghetto in case you were wondering. My connection is based on a city wide wireless signal. I have a G router pick up the signal and its plugged into my computer. The impending result: I must stick the router outside my window or right up against the window to even receive the slightest hint of a signal and when I am with signal, its about the slowest thing ever. It reminds me of my AOL days and makes me want to cry. Proof of this madness can be viewed here.I am happy though that I can at least do the simplest of internet tasks now. I don't know how long this will last. I might just scrap it all together and keep using internet cafe's etc, as much as that idea pains me.

The weather has been chilly here but rather nice. This evening though some clouds were moving in and it looked like it might rain. I need to decide what I am doing for New Years Eve. Suggestions are as always greatly accepted.

And so it is

I am still without regular access to the internets. Something I hate. The past five years of my life I have been connected to the world via a small fiber optic cable or wireless signal. Because of this severe travesty, I have been forced to do things like watch CNN and bad german tv or worse, read a book. Psh! Who does that?

Yesterday was a holiday here in The Fatherland. October 3rd is "Tages des Deutsches Einheit" or day of German Unity. Celebration of the day when East and West Germany combined into one country again. More of a holiday in the East than the West as many people on this side see the East as different people completely and an economic burden. Forty years of stiff communist oppression will do this to you. Having lived in Dresden, I'm inclined to disagree with the fact that they are still an economic burden. Dresden has a booming economy and unemployment is falling, in some cases faster than here in the west. However, one thing that has increased is the rise of Neo-Nazi groups again. This is no good. Rural parts of the former East where unemployment is at its highest and education at its lowest suffer the most. Let's hope this gets nipped in the bud.

For my holiday, I traveled to Bonn to meet up with fellow German club member Eric. He just flew in from the States so was feeling a bit rough. We had a walk throughout the former capital of West Germany and dinner. At first I was not impressed with Bonn, but further investigation into the city proved to be more delightful. Much to our surprise their was a free light/water show taking place. Imagine a wall of water with different lights shining through. It was pretty awesome. I found the English site for this show, so if you want to learn more you can read here.

I am determined to get internet in my home soon. Now I have to away to this company 45 minutes outside of Aachen.

The Audacity of Mother Nature

Yesterday was an absolutely beautiful day here in Aachen. Then today it was mostly cloudy and about an hour ago the rain started. Much like you are, I am not shocked. This is becoming an usual phenomenon this rain stuff. Although I am mad at CNN International for lying to me, they said that it wasn't going to rain. Its strange to hear an American newscaster tell you the temperature in Celsius.

My friend Becca came here from Frankfurt this weekend. We had a great time. We went to one of Aachen's spas/natural pools Carolus Thermen. For €10 each we spent 2.5 hours bathing in the warm mineral waters of Northern Germany. Charlemagne used to send his soldiers to these locations throughout the city to rejuvenate themselves after battle. Afterwards we felt very refreshed. We were unable to unfortunately to book a massage that evening. I will be going this weekend sans any other plans. I got paid today. Not very much but either way, it was my first professional pay check. Strangely, I received an actual check. You go the bank its drawn on (because if you deposit it in your account, it takes SEVEN DAYS for it to clear, not acceptable)
and then take the cash to your accounts, etc. I can have the money transferred to my account later once my accounts are established and in good standing a bit later. For now, this is probably the best option, considering I don't know my PIN yet to access my funds.

My entire face aches. I've got a cold or sinus thing going on. I went to the apotheke (pharmacy) today and got some medicine for it. In Germany you cannot simply pick out something that you want, you have to talk to the pharmacist and tell them what you want. I chickened out and used English, well a severe mix of English and German. I'd rather not have a confused look on my pharmacists face when dealing with my aliments. Today I drove for the first time in Germany. Nowhere near as intimidating as Puerto Rico. I am however, afraid, that I'm going to get lost. It was very much like driving in the States only faster. We have three company cars, I test drove on some very European car from 1993. It had over 175000 KM on it. Apparently, I "James Bonded" it according to my fellow passengers. Thats because when you know how to drive a stick correctly, you can get that baby up to speed fast. Mike drove for a bit and almost gave me a heart attack on several occasions.

I have class in a few minutes. But at my Grandfather's inspriation, I leave you with this:

Today absence of humor renders life impossible. - Collette.

Sometimes you just gotta laugh at yourself.