I feel this way sometimes.
Happy to be living abroad, experiencing things many never have the chance to, but yet so sad? My little brother called me last night just to talk. This kind of broke my heart because I miss Patrick. I haven't seen him since December and its now June. Thats the longest I've gone without seeing my family. I'm beginning to be really burned out from work recently as well so thats not happening.
I can't leave yet though. I feel as though if I were to pack up my bags and go home, I'd be a failure. So much left undone, unsaid and untraveled. Problem is, I feel like I"ll never be able to really accomplish any of my 'goals' because maybe they're unrealistic. I'm not sure what I was expecting when I accepted my job in Aachen (decent money after taxes, thanks Germany!, time to travel?!?) Still torn between my desire to be here and my desire to go back home and start my career or go to graduate school. I have good friends in Germany but I've good good ones back home too. Bah, I hate this feeling.
Ideally I'll find another job, stay in Germany another year and this time next year I'll be apartment hunting in the DC area. I've always thought I'd go to grad school full-time and finish in three or for semesters but it seems as though I'm going to probably have to work full-time and go to school part-time. Hmm. I should probably stop listening to NPR because its not helping my home sicknesses as of late.
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